Chicago woman turns pain into purpose, now leads efforts to help domestic violence victims

CHICAGO - She was barely a teenager when her innocence was stolen, and her childhood replaced by violence, control, and fear.

In a Fox 32 special report, Tia Ewing has one woman's story of survival and redemption and how she's helping others do the same.

We want to warn you — some of the details in this story are graphic.

A survivor's story

The backstory:

"I'm a survivor of human trafficking and domestic violence myself," said Pamela Dukes, director of Victim Support Services. "At the age of 13, I had an unfortunate encounter that caused me to be pregnant at the age of 13. I had my daughter at 14, who ended up being, ended up saving my life."

Dukes is not just an advocate; she is a survivor.

At 13 years old, her life was shattered by someone she thought she could trust. An older man, posing as a friend raped her, got her pregnant, and then forced her into a violent, controlling relationship that lasted for years.

"I was told, give it to me or I'm gonna take it. And I was like, I'm not giving you anything. And they took it. And I got pregnant from that encounter, and then I was made to be with him," Dukes said.

Years of abuse and trafficking

"I went through a domestic violence situation for probably about four or five years, beaten beyond my mother's recognition. She came into a hospital room and didn't even know who I was. So went through that, was a victim of human trafficking by actually friends, or people who I thought were friends. They were older than me."

The years that followed were marked by brutal domestic violence. After being hogtied and kidnapped, that's when Dukes slowly but surely started to unravel the years of abuse.

"Hogtied me and beat me constantly for three days. It would feed me, would come bring food, feed me, let untie me to for me to eat. Tie me back up for three days," she said.

"He ran out of money, and I used to work at a grocery store, and I knew that I had a check at the grocery store. And so I said, ‘maybe I could just put my hood on and go and get my check.’ And he walked me to the grocery store to get the check and I never came back out."

Escaping the abuse

Dukes ran into the arms of other employees at the grocery store to get help. Still, the psychological grip was strong, that relief from abuse was only temporary.

"I knew that sometimes just going back would be easier because, otherwise, I'm still in high school. He's going to meet me at the school, and I'm going to be beat up fairly badly at school, or he's going to meet me at the daycare, and either my daughter is not going to be picked up. Now I'm going to have to deal with DCFS. So, I knew sometimes it would just be easier to go back, and maybe I could appease him," Dukes said.

Dukes said she couldn’t take it anymore. After years of beatings and control by the man who raped her, a drug dealer, she saw only one way out.

She made a calculated decision: go to law enforcement. Not just anyone, but the narcotics division. She knew if they could arrest him on drug charges, it might be her only shot at freedom.

And it worked. He was eventually sent to prison.

Finding freedom and a new purpose

Why you should care:

With her abuser behind bars, Dukes finally had the space and safety to begin her escape.

"I felt like either I'm going to die running away or I'm going to die in it, and I'd rather be trying to escape," she said. "Every time I knew that, you know, he would be carrying, I contacted them. And eventually he was taken to jail."

Now, Dukes serves as Director of Victim Support Services for the Cook County Sheriff’s Office, where she helps others break free from the very cycles that once ensnared her. She’s not just behind a desk, she’s in the field.

During sting operations, where johns expect to buy sex, they instead receive a harsh education on human trafficking and domestic violence.

Helping others heal

What they're saying:

Dukes ensures survivors have access to safety plans, advocacy, and the resources needed to rebuild their lives.

"I'm sure you know about the power and control that comes with domestic violence. And so, being able to help a person to be educated, to safety plan with them. It is really important to the sheriff's office to make sure that as victim support services, advocates that we safety plan with victims to try to help them to keep themselves safe. That we also connect them with domestic violence agencies, that they'll have an advocate that can follow them throughout their situation. Because sometimes their situation is connected to their means of living. They have the means of taking care of their families. And so, you can't just go to a person's situation and try to just snatch them out of it. You have to be able to work with them through their process," Dukes said.

Pamela Dukes’ message is clear: survival is possible, and no one has to endure their pain alone.

"I knew that part of my story and part of my column was going to be to help other people in these kinds of situations, because I don't know how I know to do that. I can only say it was God or faith. I just knew that I needed to get out, and I knew I wanted to get out alive, and God do the rest," she said.

Resources and support

What you can do:

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

You have just heard the story of a survivor turned advocate, a powerful reminder that strength can rise from even the darkest moments. 

If you or someone you know needs help, there are resources available.

Victim support services and domestic violence liaisons are available at (708) 232-4545. For more information and resources, visit cookcountysheriffil.gov/domestic-violence-information/.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE
http://www.thehotline.org/

Chicagoland Domestic Violence Help Line
1-877-863-6338 (Chicago area only)
http://www.thehotline.org/

For more information on domestic violence, visit the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence's website or call 217-789-2830.