Illinois veteran's family pushes for headstone replacement after cemetery dispute

COOK COUNTY - The family of a Vietnam veteran says they’re fighting to preserve his legacy after his headstone disappeared nearly a year ago, leaving his grave unmarked and unresolved.

What we know:

James Barnes Sr., a retired technical sergeant who served 20 years in the U.S. Air Force, was buried alongside his wife at Washington Memory Gardens in Thornton.

His wife, Chong, passed away in 2023. In May 2024, Barnes’ granite headstone vanished, prompting the family to file a police report. The marker has not been recovered.

Since then, the family says they paid for a new dual headstone to honor both James and Chong. A letter from the Department of Veterans Affairs confirms the family is allowed to proceed with a companion marker. But nearly a year after the original headstone went missing, the new one has yet to be installed.

What they're saying:

Barnes’ grandson, Quovadis Green, said the loss—and the cemetery's handling of it—has deeply affected the family.

"My mom, my aunt and my uncle, it's been traumatizing," Green said. "To have to come out here and find other headstones to know where they are at, it is traumatizing, they don't want to come here and see that."

The cemetery provided the family with a notarized document requiring them to agree that if the VA later disapproves the dual headstone, it would need to be removed.

What's next:

Washington Memory Gardens says they are awaiting a signed form from the appropriate next of kin before they can move forward. In a statement, the cemetery said:

"We scrupulously follow the law, honor contracts, and do the right thing for the decedents and families we serve."

They also stated that the family member currently communicating with them is not the legal next of kin, but that paperwork has been provided and they expect it to be returned soon.

The Barnes family says they just want to see a proper headstone installed and their loved ones honored together.